What is IFS Therapy Used For?
As an IFS Counselor in St. Louis, I know we all carry an internal world within us, a complex landscape of thoughts, feelings, and impulses - like various sub-personalities within us vying for control. Sometimes, these parts clash, leading to self-doubt, stress, and unhealthy patterns. IFS therapy offers a revolutionary approach to understanding and harmonizing this inner ecosystem, because, unlike traditional therapy, IFS therapy doesn't focus on fixing you. Instead, it guides you towards understanding and befriending these various parts of yourself. That's the power of IFS - cultivating a safe space internally where you can explore your inner world with curiosity and compassion.
What Are the Basics of IFS Therapy?
At its core, Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a unique and transformative approach to healing from both the ordinary and the traumatic. Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, internal family systems theory operates on the premise that within each individual exists an inner system comprising distinct parts, each with its own thoughts, emotions, and motivations. These parts often manifest as different aspects of our personality or psyche, influencing our behaviors and responses to life experiences.
One of the fundamental principles of IFS therapy is the concept of the Self, which represents the core essence of an individual — their innate wisdom, compassion, and clarity. The goal of IFS therapy is to cultivate a harmonious relationship between the Self and the various parts within the internal system, fostering healing, integration, and personal growth.
Central to the practice of IFS is the belief that each part carries valuable insight and serves a unique protective role, often developed in response to past traumas or challenges. By approaching these parts with curiosity and compassion, clients can begin to unravel the complex dynamics of their inner world and address underlying emotional wounds.
What Is IFS Therapy Used to Treat?
If you’re on board so far but wondering what is IFS therapy used for, IFS therapy can be used to address a wide range of challenges, but as a therapist who specializes in working with women and with fellow therapists, here's what I see IFS address in sessions most often:
For Women:
Internal Conflicts: Whether it stems from societal pressures, self-doubt, or managing various life roles, my clients often feel like juggling all of life's demands leaves them feeling like they're being pulled in a million and two directions. IFS helps them identify and understand the underlying parts driving these conflicts, fostering self-compassion and inner harmony.
Befriending Inner Critics: Most of my clients have a voice (or two or three) in their heads telling them they’re not good enough, they don’t work hard enough, etc. Our work helps them identify and understand that voice, ultimately befriending it because 1) they get connected with their core Self, a place of inherent worth and self-acceptance, and 2) *spoiler alert* that inner critic was never trying to hurt them in the first place.
Relationship Issues: Many of my clients feel like they're banging their heads against a brick wall in their personal relationships. Stuck in a cycle of frustration, they believe nothing can change until the other person does.
Personally, this is a place where I think IFS therapy really shines. By exploring how their inner parts might be influencing their interactions with others, my clients gain a deeper understanding of their role in relationship dynamics. This empowers them to:
Shift their perspective: They can move away from feeling like a victim of the situation and see opportunities for personal growth.
Show up differently: With this newfound awareness, clients can approach their relationships with more compassion, assertive communication, or even healthy boundaries.
Here's the best part: Even if the external situation remains unchanged, their internal experience of the situation shifts, often leading to clarity and relief, and increases the chances of positive change in the other person as well.
Life Transitions: Whether it's a career change, becoming a mom, or facing an empty nest, these big shifts can be overwhelming. IFS provides a framework for navigating these transitions and their accompanying thoughts, feelings, and struggles with greater ease and resilience.
For Therapists:
Compassion Fatigue and Burnout: Therapists know the drill - logging 20+ hours a week listening to others' struggles can leave you drained - and that can manifest in all kinds of ways.
Case in point: ever noticed a critical inner voice judging a client, even though you genuinely want to feel nonjudgmental? During our sessions, you can connect with this critical part which *spoiler alter* is a protector part of your system. You’ll learn about its attempt to shield you and in future sessions, when you’re in the chair, you can acknowledge it when it shows up while also staying connected to your genuine sense of openness towards your client.Countertransference: It happens to the best of us. And here's where I think IFS shines specifically for therapists:
Imagine a client session that triggers you. Conceptualizing triggering through the lens of IFS, you can 1) recognize the activation as an expression of a part of you, (perhaps your "Inner Critic" activates, feeling protective of a younger, exiled part of you who was about to get overwhelmed) and 2) gently guide the part towards your Self.
By offering validation and appreciation to our protectors and comfort and safety to our younger, more vulnerable parts, therapists can detach from getting personally hooked and avoid feelings of guilt or inadequacy for being triggered in the first place. This allows you to maintain a centered presence throughout client sessions and continue providing effective support to your client, without sacrificing yourself in the process.
Maintaining Healthy Boundaries: Therapists need healthy boundaries too. We've all dealt with clients who frequently cancel or need a sliding scale we can’t really afford to offer. IFS helps you identify parts that make setting and holding boundaries difficult. You might have an internal dialogue with a "People Pleaser" or a “Caregiver” part, discovering its underlying need for connection. By tending to these parts, you’ll be better able to establish and hold clear boundaries while still offering them compassionate support.
Deeper Understanding of Clients: Through their own IFS exploration, therapists gain a deeper understanding of their client's internal processes, fostering greater empathy and more effective therapeutic interventions.
What Does an IFS Therapist Do?
When starting internal family systems therapy, it's important to understand the distinction between an IFS-informed therapist and an IFS therapist, as their approaches can differ significantly.
While both types of therapists may utilize parts language, an IFS therapist will typically engage more deeply in facilitating relationships between you and your parts. They operate as guides, respecting your autonomy and agency in therapy decisions. Each session is held within an IFS framework, allowing for the exploration, understanding, and nurturing of your internal parts in a supportive therapeutic environment.
An IFS therapist has undergone formal training through the IFS Institute, and completion of level 1 training is a requirement to be recognized as an IFS therapist by the Institute and be listed in their provider directory. On the other hand, an IFS-informed therapist may have participated in introductory courses from other organizations but lacks formal IFS Institute training.
Furthermore, some therapists may refer to themselves as IFS therapists without completing formal training. To clarify their credentials, don't hesitate to inquire about their specific training in Internal Family Systems. Those trained by the IFS Institute will often mention completion of levels 1, 2, or 3, or they may be certified.
What Are the 5 Ps of Internal Family Systems?
Imagine working with an IFS therapist and co-creating a safe and nurturing space – a container where healing and transformation can unfold within yourself. Not one to shy away from alliterative devices, IFS therapy utilizes the "5 P's" to describe the qualities of this internal container, creating the ideal environment for inner exploration and growth. These P's act as the foundation for accessing your Self, the calm and centered observer within. Let's explore each P:
Patience: Inner exploration and healing are journeys, not destinations. Patience allows you to navigate unexpected discoveries or challenging moments within your internal landscape with compassion, understanding that true transformation unfolds at its own pace.
Presence: A mindful, intentional awareness of your inner world – your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. Being present allows you to observe your internal family system parts without judgment.
Perspective: Stepping back from your thoughts and feelings with perspective allows you to see them clearly and objectively. This separate but connected position helps you connect with your Self and Self Energy.
Playfulness: Infusing your journey with a touch of lightness and imagination, playfulness encourages you to explore your internal world with curiosity and a sense of wonder. Instead of a serious, rigid approach, IFS therapy invites you to be playful and non-judgmental. This can unlock hidden insights, foster self-compassion, and make the therapeutic process more engaging and enjoyable.
Persistence: An unwavering commitment to your own growth supports your journey in IFS therapy. Persistence communicates safety within your system, accepting that the work takes as long as it takes.
The good news is that these qualities are cyclical in nature - the more internal work you do, the stronger and more readily available these qualities are - and - the stronger/more available these qualities are, the more internal work you can do.
Final Thoughts
Whether you're a woman juggling life's demands or feeling stuck in a challenging relationship, a therapist on the verge of burnout or feeling triggered by a client, or anyone seeking deeper self-understanding, IFS therapy can help you rework the relationship you have with yourself, and by extension, others.
Start IFS Therapy in St. Louis, MO
Ready to take the first step? I'm a level three trained IFS therapist passionate about guiding individuals and fellow therapists towards their own healing and growth. Contact me today to schedule a free consultation and explore how IFS therapy can benefit you. I’m also happy to offer support for women and fellow IFS therapists alike.
