Most people assume that high-achieving women thrive on tidy kitchens and back-to-back meetings, that they sleep better with a color-coded calendar and a to-do list by the bed. 

But that’s just because most people can’t spell. Lucky for them, some high-achieving women will help them out:

Tidy kitchens? That’s  R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y. 

Back-to-back meetings? That’s B-E-I-N-G-A-G-R-O-W-N-U-P.

Color-coded calendars? That’s N-E-C-E-S-S-A-R-Y.

To-do lists by the bed? That’s C-O-P-I-N-G..

And thriving? Oh, that one’s easy. It’s spelled S-U-R-V-I-V-I-N-G. Which is exactly why this high-achieving woman is one goldfish cracker away from L-O-S-I-N-G H-E-R S-H-I-T.

Seven years ago, while in grad school to become a licensed counselor myself, I was sitting across from my therapist, intellectually spiraling about something my husband did: over-explaining, analyzing, looping through every possible angle. You know. Tuesday.

She paused and asked if I’d be willing to try something different. Instead of talking about the frustration, she asked me to speak to it. To listen to it. To let it respond. It was weird. But it also worked.

You don’t need to be less reactive—you actually need to be better at it.

Some version it always comes up with new clients: “I just want to be less reactive.” Not less hurt. Not less unseen. Just…less reactive. 

Sometimes it’s buried under paragraphs of context. Sometimes it’s the whole damn paragraph. Either way, it’s one of the most common reasons my clients cite for starting therapy—the thing they think will make everything feel more manageable. 

“So… what kind of clients do you see?” It’s a simple question, but I never quite know how to answer because the truth is, I don’t think in diagnoses or demographics. I think in nervous systems. I think in spirals. I think in her. Women just like you—the ones who are smart, high-functioning, and secretly unraveling.

It’s 2:14AM and your phone screen is burning holes in your face. You’ve got 17 tabs open, and none of them are helping. Why not? Because you’re not actually looking for an answer. You’re looking for relief. From the guilt. From the grief. From the whiplash of feeling one thing in the morning and the opposite by dinner.

As an IFS Therapist, I watched Inside Out 2 like a documentary. Pixar captured what IFS therapy reveals: every emotion, even the messy ones, has a role. Here’s why true harmony means giving all your parts a voice—and what Riley’s story teaches us about integration.

Ever find yourself thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?” Of course you do. And don’t get me wrong - you’re quick to get off that thought train because who knows where it might lead. But damn if it doesn’t crop up every time you promise yourself you won’t open that bottle of wine tonight. You had a glass last night, after all, and you’re trying to cut back. But it’s been a day, and before you know it, you’re two and a half glasses deep into that bottle of Meiomi Pinot Noir, folding laundry when the guilt and doubt starts to creep in. “Why can’t I just keep this one promise to myself? Maybe I don’t have as much control as I thought.”

Hello to all my underpaid, overworked family project managers. Here’s what your internal debate about online vs. in-person therapy tells me: you’re flirting with the idea of finally prioritizing yourself. I mean, why else would you search for “in-person therapist near me” when you could have just as easily looked up “online therapist in Missouri,” right?

Feeling caught between numbing out and lashing out? Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy goes beneath the surface of overwhelm and frustration to help you reclaim calm and control. Discover how IFS uncovers the layers of your inner world, empowering you to break free from burnout and find clarity without needing to “fix” yourself.