Is IFS therapy that whole "psychodynamic" thing? You know, that therapy where you spend hours dissecting your relationship with your mother, your father, your childhood traumas, and unearthing buried memories? Not quite. Instead, it’s like the cool, tattooed cousin of traditional therapy – insightful, effective, and way more down-to-earth than that stuffy stereotype.

IFS therapy offers a revolutionary approach to healing and self-discovery because, unlike traditional therapy, IFS doesn't focus on fixing you. Instead, it guides you towards understanding and befriending various parts of yourself. That's the power of IFS - reworking the relationship you have with yourself, and by extension, others.

As an IFS counselor in St. Louis, I rely on analogies and metaphors whenever I'm explaining IFS to clients. I picked cooking to discuss how to prepare for IFS therapy because when I think of preparation, my automatic association is meal prep. When I’m cooking, I like to prepare in generalities and only dig into the specifics once I actually start cooking. This approach applies to therapy too. Just like you wouldn't start cooking without some basic understanding of the recipe, it's helpful to have a sense of what to expect before diving into therapy. So, here’s my take on how to prepare for IFS therapy.

Most people have zero clue WHY they do what they do - not with any real accuracy, anyway. We stumble through life on autopilot, reacting to situations with a vague sense of "because I should" or "because that's just me."

Spoiler alert: Surface-level explanations don’t cut it. You might tell yourself you procrastinate "because I'm lazy" or snap at a colleague "because they're annoying." These explanations feel true on the surface, but they don't address the root cause.



But guess what? There's a way to break free from behaviors, habits, or feelings you feel trapped by: and it starts with identifying two of the most important things about you.

So, you've landed here after Googling "internal family systems therapist near me" (or some other IFS-related query), hoping to better understand something about IFS therapy, right? Understandable. I like to do a little homework before I start something new, too.

Asking how long therapy will take is like asking how long it will take to get through security at the airport: it varies, and it’s often a bit longer than you’d like. However, in my opinion, it’s more pleasant and certainly more rewarding than any interaction with TSA. Just saying.

Sometimes, my job as a therapist is to share a hard truth with clients. Today, I’ll cut right to it: dealing with difficult feelings starts by learning that your feelings are real – and – they may not be reflective of reality. it's okay to feel a certain way, even if it doesn't fully align with the reality of the situation, and it's important not to invalidate your emotions because they're a part of you. This introspective process can be empowering, liberating, and ultimately, healing.

It’s a darkly ironic circular problem – you’re too exhausted to give any space or energy to addressing your exhaustion. So, let me help by telling you in plain English –  you need to ask for help.

"Both can be true" - this is a little nugget I offer to clients when they are torn between their feelings and their feelings about their feelings (humans are unique in that way). When we dig into those struggles, most clients describe experiencing a tug-of-war going on inside of them.