What to Expect in an IFS Therapy Session
So, you've landed here after Googling "internal family systems therapist near me" (or some other IFS-related query), hoping to better understand something about IFS therapy, right? Understandable. I like to do a little homework before I start something new, too.
First - for all the A+, gold-star students out there, my entire website is, basically, a deep dive into all things IFS. And my Internal Family Systems Therapy page comes closest to unraveling the intricacies of IFS therapy step by step (without reading the actual training manual). It will give you a pretty good idea of what to expect before you start.
That said, you’re already here, and you might not be looking to understand the method behind IFS but more just get an idea of what it will BE like. I get it - and I’ve got you.
What Is an IFS Therapy Session Like?
Walking into an Internal Family Systems therapy session might initially feel like an ordinary conversation - and in many ways, it is. As we talk, I'll occasionally frame our discussion in terms of "parts." While listening to what’s happening externally in your life, I’ll be mainly drawing our focus to what’s happening internally for you. By “what’s happening internally” for you, I mean your reactions to XYZ thing in your life - your thoughts, feelings, behavioral urges, beliefs, opinions etc. Those are the things I’ll begin to reflect back to you as “parts” of yourself.
Gradually, we'll go deeper, engaging with your parts experientially. We’ll shift from discussing them to actively engaging with them (i.e. - from talking about them to talking to them). Initially, this shift to talking to your parts (whether internally or audibly) may feel unusual or uncomfortable, especially if we’re working with parts of yourself you've long avoided.
Session to session, the “vibe” might change. Some days we’ll do a lot more talking about parts, others we’ll mainly be engaged in talking to them. Either way, at the start of each session we’ll begin with whatever is at the forefront at the present moment, using it as a trailhead. Those things might be the same week to week for a while. Other times, it might change each week. Either way is fine. And if what’s showing up in the present is connected to something in the past, we might visit it. If it doesn’t, we don’t.
If you still feel nervous about what to expect in an IFS therapy session, first - you’re not alone, most people are. And second, the good news is, whether or not we are doing explicit parts work (the talking to your parts stuff), I’m always coming from an IFS framework - so you can let yourself off the hook for figuring out if you’re doing it “right” or not.
How Do I Prepare for an IFS Session?
Now that you know a little about what to expect in an IFS session, let’s talk about how to prepare. For clarity, I’m going to differentiate between the first session and subsequent sessions.
First Session
The biggest thing to do to prep for your first session is to complete all the intake paperwork ahead of time, ideally, about one to three days(ish) before. This gives me time to read through and prepare, keeps what you wrote fresh in your own mind, and lets us spend our full session time actually talking with each other, instead of filling out paper forms.
For the actual session, when you arrive, take a seat in the waiting room. You can bring a beverage you enjoy and a journal if that’s your style - though neither is a requirement. I’ll come out to greet you and show you back to my office. Almost everyone asks “Where should I sit?” and the answer is - wherever you’d like, though most clients opt for the couch.
Once we’ve settled in, I’ll go over some mandatory disclosures with you (they will be available for you to read ahead of time in the document titled Informed Consent) and then we’ll use the rest of our time to begin getting to know each other and digging into what you are wanting to get out of the experience.
Ongoing Sessions
There’s no right or wrong way to start a session. Here are a few things I see clients trend towards:
Share an update on things that have happened since your last session
A note on this: it can be easy to get stuck in reporting on the events in your life and it might feel weird to not give me an update on things we’ve talked about before. However, it’s perfectly okay to be intentional with our time, and if sharing updates feels compulsory but those things aren’t what you want to focus on that day, skip it! And, if you are sharing updates, when we’re doing internal family systems parts work, our focus will still be on what’s happening for you internally as a means of finding and focusing on your parts that are present or activated by the things happening in your life.
Reflect on what’s different between now and your last session. More than reporting the events that have transpired since your last session, this is about tracking internal changes to your experiences or perceptions, changes in your behaviors or responses, or just insights and shifts in perspective you’ve had since we last met.
Reflect on the parts from your last session and where you saw them show up in your life since then. This is a bit more specific in nature than the last suggestion, and, can be hard at first when you’re still getting used to thinking about parts. At the end of each session, you can always jot down a word or two for each part you want to be mindful of and translate them to a sticky note in a place where you’ll see it throughout the week. If sticky notes aren’t your jam, write them in the to-do list in your planner or set a reminder in your phone - these are all ways to help keep parts top of mind.
Revisit your goals/your why for starting therapy in the first place. You can assess your progress so far and set new goals if it feels right.
What Does an IFS Therapist Do?
It’s a small but important detail to distinguish between an IFS-informed therapist and an IFS therapist because what each will do will be different.
An IFS therapist is someone who has completed, at a minimum, level 1 training through the IFS Institute. An IFS-informed therapist has not - though they may have completed other introductory trainings through other organizations.
To complicate things further, some IFS-informed therapists will refer to themselves as an IFS therapist - if you’re unclear, it’s okay to ask what training they have received in Internal Family Systems. If they were trained by the IFS Institute, the answer will be in the format of L1, L2, or L3, or they may say they are certified.
And IFS informed therapist might use parts language, but not fully facilitate relationships between you and your parts. They might have other therapy modalities they are anchored in and draw from IFS as a tool, sprinkling it throughout.
An IFS therapist will operate as a guide, respecting your autonomy and agency in deciding the pace, depth, and direction of therapy. They will guide sessions, process what you share, and track patterns and sequences (both internally and externally) all through the lens of IFS. Throughout every session, they will be holding an IFS frame around your work to help you first begin to notice your parts, meet and get to know them, and eventually, be a partner as you tend and maintain your relationship with all your various parts.
Final Thoughts
Whether you stumbled upon this page while Googling for an IFS therapist or you’ve been curiously exploring the world of therapy more broadly, I hope this rundown gave you some clarity about what to expect from an IFS session. Remember, starting therapy isn't just about understanding the process intellectually; it's about feeling comfortable with the approach and finding a therapist who clicks with you. As a thearpist, I personally love offering support through IFS therapy to individuals, women, and fellow therapists alike!
