When she first came to see me, Brooke didn’t talk about grief or loneliness - she talked about logistics. She told me she had a good partner, a stable relationship. No real fights. No red flags. “We get along,” she said, in a way that sounded like both a celebration and a resignation. And then one day, a month or two in, she told me a story that changed everything.

From the outside, it looks like you’re just trying to communicate - to be understood. But on the inside? You’re frantically trying to outrun the ache of being met with the blank face. The defensive shrug. The moment when you realize you’ve been understood technically—but not felt. 

You tell yourself you’re confused. That if you could just figure it out—run the numbers, weigh the options, script the perfect conversation where no one gets hurt—you’d finally land on clarity. But if we’re being honest? You already have clarity. You’re just scared shitless of what it means.

You knew marriage would be work. You expected hard conversations. “Compromise”. The constant recalibration that happens when two adults are learning how to stay connected while managing groceries, gut health, and generational trauma - never mind dodging Legos. You even braced for seasons of disconnection—because you’re realistic like that.

But what you’re feeling now? The second-guessing, over-analyzing, and soul-numbing depletion? You didn’t see that coming - and you shouldn’t have.

You know you should set boundaries. The internet won’t shut up about it.

But every time you try, some part of you shrinks, like you just committed a felony.

Anger looks the antagonist in your story - but that's just because you haven't had your Chapter 54 moment.

As an IFS Therapist, I watched Inside Out 2 like a documentary. Pixar captured what IFS therapy reveals: every emotion, even the messy ones, has a role. Here’s why true harmony means giving all your parts a voice—and what Riley’s story teaches us about integration.

Ever find yourself thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?” Of course you do. And don’t get me wrong - you’re quick to get off that thought train because who knows where it might lead. But damn if it doesn’t crop up every time you promise yourself you won’t open that bottle of wine tonight. You had a glass last night, after all, and you’re trying to cut back. But it’s been a day, and before you know it, you’re two and a half glasses deep into that bottle of Meiomi Pinot Noir, folding laundry when the guilt and doubt starts to creep in. “Why can’t I just keep this one promise to myself? Maybe I don’t have as much control as I thought.”

Feeling caught between numbing out and lashing out? Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy goes beneath the surface of overwhelm and frustration to help you reclaim calm and control. Discover how IFS uncovers the layers of your inner world, empowering you to break free from burnout and find clarity without needing to “fix” yourself.