IFS therapy offers a revolutionary approach to healing and self-discovery because, unlike traditional therapy, IFS doesn't focus on fixing you. Instead, it guides you towards understanding and befriending various parts of yourself. That's the power of IFS - reworking the relationship you have with yourself, and by extension, others.

As an IFS counselor in St. Louis, I rely on analogies and metaphors whenever I'm explaining IFS to clients. I picked cooking to discuss how to prepare for IFS therapy because when I think of preparation, my automatic association is meal prep. When I’m cooking, I like to prepare in generalities and only dig into the specifics once I actually start cooking. This approach applies to therapy too. Just like you wouldn't start cooking without some basic understanding of the recipe, it's helpful to have a sense of what to expect before diving into therapy. So, here’s my take on how to prepare for IFS therapy.

Most people have zero clue WHY they do what they do - not with any real accuracy, anyway. We stumble through life on autopilot, reacting to situations with a vague sense of "because I should" or "because that's just me."

Spoiler alert: Surface-level explanations don’t cut it. You might tell yourself you procrastinate "because I'm lazy" or snap at a colleague "because they're annoying." These explanations feel true on the surface, but they don't address the root cause.



But guess what? There's a way to break free from behaviors, habits, or feelings you feel trapped by: and it starts with identifying two of the most important things about you.

Asking how long therapy will take is like asking how long it will take to get through security at the airport: it varies, and it’s often a bit longer than you’d like. However, in my opinion, it’s more pleasant and certainly more rewarding than any interaction with TSA. Just saying.

Listen, St. Louis Natives - I think I speak for all transplants when I say that we, respectfully, don’t want to know where you went to high school. As 30 and 40-year-old women with busy lives, we’d much rather hear about where you spend your time now. In fact - those of us with kids NEED to hear about where you spend your time now. Let me explain. 

IFS therapy is like sitting down with your inner drama queen and gently asking "What's happening that you are making such a fuss?" You're not shutting her up; you're giving her a microphone. And guess what? When you let her speak - when you help her feel heard - she won’t need to wield a megaphone anymore.

I created Good Woman Therapy to introduce women like you to the idea that we are good inside because it can relieve our most common struggles by freeing us from believing that those struggles have turned us into one of the “bad ones”.

Because that, my friend, is how you are gaslighting yourself. Here’s how to stop: consider the idea that you are one woman, with many parts, all of whom are inherently good - and that changes everything.

Curiosity works because when it's genuine, it's truly agenda-free. Ever notice how when you're frustrated with yourself about why you do XYZ thing in conflict, you get 0% closer to figuring out why you do that thing? Or to...not doing it anymore?

That's because the part of you doing the thing you hate feels defensive; you're trying to change it before truly understanding it.

Sometimes, my job as a therapist is to share a hard truth with clients. Today, I’ll cut right to it: dealing with difficult feelings starts by learning that your feelings are real – and – they may not be reflective of reality. it's okay to feel a certain way, even if it doesn't fully align with the reality of the situation, and it's important not to invalidate your emotions because they're a part of you. This introspective process can be empowering, liberating, and ultimately, healing.